Okay - I know, I know. Gross title. But if there's anything more memorable about our trip to this famed resort other than the "overratedness" of it all, it has got to be me shitting loads of papaya down the drain (will probably edit this after getting my imaginary "virtual manners" back).
Being the stereotypical tourist that I am, I wanted - no, scratch that - I needed to visit Pearl Farm. It promised a taste of luxury for a day tour rate of P1,950/person on weekdays and P2,500/person on weekends *gulp* Of course I scheduled our day trip on a Thursday. Besides, if we pushed through with the original itinerary and visited on the next day, which was a holiday, I'm pretty sure we'd have no place to even have our asses seated judging by the number of people already waiting in the resort's, well, "waiting area" (sue me for my limited vocabulary ples).
Being the stereotypical tourist that I am, I wanted - no, scratch that - I needed to visit Pearl Farm. It promised a taste of luxury for a day tour rate of P1,950/person on weekdays and P2,500/person on weekends *gulp* Of course I scheduled our day trip on a Thursday. Besides, if we pushed through with the original itinerary and visited on the next day, which was a holiday, I'm pretty sure we'd have no place to even have our asses seated judging by the number of people already waiting in the resort's, well, "waiting area" (sue me for my limited vocabulary ples).
So on November 29, 2012, months before the resort's renovation, we hailed a cab and just told the driver that we were off to visit Pearl Farm. See, it's that famous that drivers know where the drop-off point is. It's the "it" place and seems like the be-all and end-all of tourism in Davao. It's like people would judge you if you told them you went to Davao but skipped Pearl Farm. There are even people who go to Davao just to visit this resort! Okay, whatever, maybe I'm exaggerating a little ;)
Pearl Farm is located in a huge island called Samal (its official name is Island Garden City of Samal or IGACOS but ain't that quite a mouthful). It's a good 40 minutes away from the city by boat and thank freaking God the transfer is already included in the rate. Anyway, we arrived at the drop-off point a few minutes before 8am and I thought we were still early and had the chance to take in the calmness of the morning but no, overnight and day tour visitors were already impatiently waiting in line for their boat passes. I was like, chill people!! I smiled at the receptionist after handing out my reservation printout because I certainly did not want to be at the receiving end of her deadly glares. She was obviously getting impatient at how impatient the visitors were. It was a beautiful morning, indeed! /sarcasm
Pearl Farm is located in a huge island called Samal (its official name is Island Garden City of Samal or IGACOS but ain't that quite a mouthful). It's a good 40 minutes away from the city by boat and thank freaking God the transfer is already included in the rate. Anyway, we arrived at the drop-off point a few minutes before 8am and I thought we were still early and had the chance to take in the calmness of the morning but no, overnight and day tour visitors were already impatiently waiting in line for their boat passes. I was like, chill people!! I smiled at the receptionist after handing out my reservation printout because I certainly did not want to be at the receiving end of her deadly glares. She was obviously getting impatient at how impatient the visitors were. It was a beautiful morning, indeed! /sarcasm
I was uncharacteristically very relaxed and not in my where's-your-manager mood that morning. I decided against joining the rowdy crowd and just sat down on one of the beautiful chairs by the pool. Ain't that fly! Just a receiving area and they got a swimming freaking pool! That certainly made me even more excited to see Pearl Farm in all its glory. I mean, gahd, a swimming pool in the RECEPTION area, people! (Please excuse my ignorance - rural girl coming out).
But I guess being one of the last groups to board the HUGE, as in thrice as big as normal tourist boats, watercraft wasn't the brightest of ideas. The best seats, i.e. facing toward the destination without having to stretch your neck sideways in an uncomfortable manner, were already taken. We had no choice but to take the only bench left. But 'tis okay, we had ourselves complimentary drinks from Pearl Farm! :)) Yay, free water! But seriously speaking, I thought it was grand of them to provide water - with straw! Man, I did feel a little civilized while consuming all that water in one sip.
Being at the back also gave us a good look at the group we were with. There were Koreans (of course I had to mention them first), balikabayans, regular Juans, social butterflies, "success stories", and low-profile businessmen. Group tours are always interesting. Always :)
So after what seemed like a whole day under the gloomy weather (the damn thing moved slower than a snail), we finally reached Pearl Farm. And oh my goodness, it looked so....so normal. So...so so? So outdated? I wanted to die inside for shelling out almost P2k for this. But then again, it was too early to tell!
People were already at the iconic Pagoda for yet another round of complimentary drinks - this time fresh pineapple juice - so I quickened my steps and gorged on them freebies. No judging ples. Two grand for all these complimentary drinks, I've got to take advantage of them (had two or I think three glasses and I swear the waiter was already judging me *what-are-these-commoners-doing-here kinda look*).
So after what seemed like a whole day under the gloomy weather (the damn thing moved slower than a snail), we finally reached Pearl Farm. And oh my goodness, it looked so....so normal. So...so so? So outdated? I wanted to die inside for shelling out almost P2k for this. But then again, it was too early to tell!
People were already at the iconic Pagoda for yet another round of complimentary drinks - this time fresh pineapple juice - so I quickened my steps and gorged on them freebies. No judging ples. Two grand for all these complimentary drinks, I've got to take advantage of them (had two or I think three glasses and I swear the waiter was already judging me *what-are-these-commoners-doing-here kinda look*).
People were already either walking toward the pool or taking pictures beside the gong thingy (another icon associated to Pearl Farm) but we decided to take our time and not hurry at all. Seemed like a bad idea though. There were already no more available lounge chairs by the infinity pool and we weren't allowed to leave our belongings anywhere else aside from the information desk, which was already pretty jam-packed with all the other day tour visitors' belongings. I kinda have trust issues so it took me a lot of courage to leave my bags but what the hell! Unless I wanted to swim in the infinity pool with my backpack, leaving our things in the hands of the concierge wouldn't be that bad.
After changing to our swimming attire, we excitedly went to the infinity pool by the Pagoda. But lo and behold! It was already crowded and I was beginning to rethink my decision to take this day trip. The place isn't even that gorgeous to risk my life by getting into their jammed infinity pool. In one way or another someone was bound to get hurt, either by a pair of kicking legs trying to swim or by arms trying to help their owner float. Nu-uh. I wouldn't even dare try going near that pool! And the worst part here was, we didn't know where to stay because all the lounge chairs were already occupied! And you would think since this was a day tour we would have our own tour guide. But no, we were left on our own and were expected to be good as long as we wouldn't go to off-limits areas, such as that (fake) white sand beach that was seriously calling me with all the empty lounge chairs. No chance, though. It's only for check-in guests. I could certainly feel the social status gap slapping me on the face. Hard.
After changing to our swimming attire, we excitedly went to the infinity pool by the Pagoda. But lo and behold! It was already crowded and I was beginning to rethink my decision to take this day trip. The place isn't even that gorgeous to risk my life by getting into their jammed infinity pool. In one way or another someone was bound to get hurt, either by a pair of kicking legs trying to swim or by arms trying to help their owner float. Nu-uh. I wouldn't even dare try going near that pool! And the worst part here was, we didn't know where to stay because all the lounge chairs were already occupied! And you would think since this was a day tour we would have our own tour guide. But no, we were left on our own and were expected to be good as long as we wouldn't go to off-limits areas, such as that (fake) white sand beach that was seriously calling me with all the empty lounge chairs. No chance, though. It's only for check-in guests. I could certainly feel the social status gap slapping me on the face. Hard.
But before I wallowed in self pity we decided to go back to the information officer and ask if there was any other place where we could chill and maybe soak a bit because I had mustered enough courage to wear a tankini and show too much flabby skin. We needed to at least have our ankles wet. And thank goodness they have another pool on the other side of the the resort that's also open to day trippers. Halle-freaking-lujah! I couldn't bear the looks that some check-in guests were giving us any longer as if it was our fault that they did not have chairs for themselves. As if! But then again, if I were on their expensive rubber slippers and I paid a couple of months' worth of rent just to discover that the pool has been invaded by day trippers, I'd be fuming maaaad.
So we hopped on the first golf cart that arrived and were greeted by the narrowest road I've ever seen in my whole life. I was a bit worried about the safety of this small trip because I was sure that if manong drove by a few millimeters over than what the narrow road allowed, then our lives would definitely be over in an instant. Okay, a little bit exaggerated but what the heck? Can't a girl worry about her life now? (quite weird saying this after trying the inverted zipline ;))
So after a few minutes of praying hard (you see Davao has made me pray so hard for my life twice in just a few days), we arrived at an almost deserted area. Now we're talking!! :D There were two big cabanas facing the beach still unoccupied. Sweet! Even though the place ain't jaw-droppingly beautiful (still looks outdated IMHO), it was way better than the crowded infinity pool on the other side of the resort. Sure, everything seemed so '90s from the shape of the pool to the overall landscape of the area and the sand was too rocky for me to enjoy playing volleyball but it offered serenity. Pure bliss away from the crowd. ♥
Warning: a couple of crap photos below. Our official photographer was too busy flexing his muscles and playing Frisbee :))
Warning: a couple of crap photos below. Our official photographer was too busy flexing his muscles and playing Frisbee :))
But there was only so much the three of us could take. The swimming pool was already starting to get crowded and to be quite honest I didn't even stay for a minute in the same water with some hoes because I was afraid to be contaminated with STD (read: teens and teens at heart showing what their momma gave them to foreigners adfdfsdsgf). Playing billiards was also not an option because really, who goes to a resort to play pool?! (haha, pun intended)
And seriously, how could I even swim in a beach that's supposed to be for mangroves? No can do, sir. I'm all for growing mangroves and supporting mother earth as long as it does not require me to swim in mud. I may sound like a whiny day tour guest but could I not have at least a decent beach or a big enough pool where I could swim without hitting someone else's face?
And seriously, how could I even swim in a beach that's supposed to be for mangroves? No can do, sir. I'm all for growing mangroves and supporting mother earth as long as it does not require me to swim in mud. I may sound like a whiny day tour guest but could I not have at least a decent beach or a big enough pool where I could swim without hitting someone else's face?
I could probably go on and on about the disadvantages of this day tour package but one thing saved Pearl Farm's ass from topping my never-ever-again-places-to-visit list (because my opinion matters, really :)) - the FOOD. Okay, anyone might say that anything edible pleases me to no end but seriously speaking, the best part of this tour was the buffet lunch. The food was great. That day, Pearl Farm offered the usual things you'd see in a normal buffet from grilled meat to veggie salad to shrimps (too bad they didn't have crabs!). And the best part of it all - the fruits. Davao is home to dirt-cheap fruits (much like Baguio is to vegetables) and it wasn't a surprise that Pearl Farm served the freshest papayas, melons, mangoes (ripe and unripe!) and bananas. This is not to overshadow the goodness of their main dishes but I'm such a sucker for fruits that I think I actually ate two platters of these goodies.
And that leads me to the next part of this post. I cannot, for the life of me, find any single photo of the buffet table to show you its awesomeness because we were probably too busy filling our stomachs and squeezing the P1950 day tour rate for all it's worth so I will just tell you now how gluttony is bad for your health. After eating what could probably be a family's 2-week supply of fruits, my stomach hurt like crazy - so crazy that I went to the nearest toilet without so much care about what others would think. I know papaya has this notorious reputation of making you shit your heart out but I was just too starved to even care about the effects of the amount of food I consumed that fateful day. But I won't go into very specific details, will I? XD The best part of all this is that I actually have a picture of this:
And that leads me to the next part of this post. I cannot, for the life of me, find any single photo of the buffet table to show you its awesomeness because we were probably too busy filling our stomachs and squeezing the P1950 day tour rate for all it's worth so I will just tell you now how gluttony is bad for your health. After eating what could probably be a family's 2-week supply of fruits, my stomach hurt like crazy - so crazy that I went to the nearest toilet without so much care about what others would think. I know papaya has this notorious reputation of making you shit your heart out but I was just too starved to even care about the effects of the amount of food I consumed that fateful day. But I won't go into very specific details, will I? XD The best part of all this is that I actually have a picture of this:
You'd think I would feel a lot better after spending a few minutes draining my body of shitloads of digested fruits and all that jazz but someone up there wanted to punish me for my gluttony because you see, it's one of the seven deadly sins. I may have felt 1% better than how I was before the "act" but my stomach still hurt. I could probably pass as the poster child for WebMD's reasons-why-you-should-not-overeat list - feeling oh so helpless and lying on one of the couches in the Pagoda while our official photographer, a.k.a Toto, was taking pictures with Ate Pong. Yep, I felt like a total loser.
Of course there was still Malipano Island to explore so regardless of how shitty I was feeling after lunch, we got on the speedboat at 1pm. Malipano is part of the resort but it's more secluded (as if the villas in the main resort aren't secluded enough) and only a fraction of the island is open to visitors, i.e. a small multi-function hall and a few beach chairs. We were the first group to arrive and were happy to secure three chairs for ourselves - finally! The beach here is definitely better and the white sand seems genuine enough. No more than ten people in the island, the beach chairs all to ourselves, the sun shining hotter more than ever - perfect time to sunbathe, right? Riiiiight. Only if my stomach wasn't acting up. I lied in pain under the scorching heat of the sun but I tried looking at the brighter side of it, at least I'd get a nice tan!
After about fifteen minutes of sunbathing, I felt so much better and my skin felt 100 degrees hotter and ten shades darker. I was fully awake just in time to see Toto browsing through photos he took of the other side of the island (or up to where he was allowed).
After about fifteen minutes of sunbathing, I felt so much better and my skin felt 100 degrees hotter and ten shades darker. I was fully awake just in time to see Toto browsing through photos he took of the other side of the island (or up to where he was allowed).
After a few more minutes we again felt that there was nothing else to do on the island. We didn't have P3,500 to spare on the jet ski and we certainly didn't have enough money to rent even the "cheapest" villa here so we decided to leave. Besides, hordes of people were already coming in boats to see the island so we went back to the main resort. Seeing how everyone was already in Malipano Island and the infinity pool clear of tourists, we hurriedly took pictures as if our lives depended on it.
The tour would end at 4:00pm but by 2:30, the three of us felt like there was nothing else to do so we decided to leave for Samal Island Huts. In general, I think Pearl Farm was okay. Their day tour was a bit expensive and there was nothing that the resort offered more than the buffet and the crowded pools. Although I must say though that my assessment of this supposed to be 4-star resort might be lacking because I did not stay overnight and did not have a clear view of the whole picture. Well, I didn't have money to burn for a night in their outdated-looking resort so I was hoping I could get more from paying P1,950. I learned that they started renovating the resort early this year and that's definitely a good thing because at first glance (or even after 6 hours of loitering around the resort), the resort really seemed like it could use a whole lot of touch ups here and there.
I hope they could modernize it a bit but still maintain some sort of ethnic details, like a fusion of the modern and the traditional. Or probably they already have that going on in their villas and suites. Probably it's just really the pools that needed major overhaul, like seriously. Or probably I'm asking too much for a day tour guest who ate lunch like there was no tomorrow and pooped everything out the next hour ;))
I hope they could modernize it a bit but still maintain some sort of ethnic details, like a fusion of the modern and the traditional. Or probably they already have that going on in their villas and suites. Probably it's just really the pools that needed major overhaul, like seriously. Or probably I'm asking too much for a day tour guest who ate lunch like there was no tomorrow and pooped everything out the next hour ;))